Friday, 1 June 2007

What Shimon Peres should do after being President

The date is 21 July 2014 and President Shimon Peres’ seven year term has finally come to an end. Elections for the new President are heating up with a three-way race between candidates Aryeh Deri, Shiri Maimon and an unknown going by the name of Noshe Gatzav.

After surviving an indictment for buying a Pacific Island off an American businessman for $3 (which he claimed was to create a utopian “peace island”) and rumours of him pinching Sharon Stone’s bottom at the Tel Aviv Premier of Basic Instinct 4, Peres made it through to his last day in Beit Hanasi.

Aged 90, Peres has fought in the Haganah, served as the youngest ever Director General of the Ministry of Defense, an MK since 1959, filled almost ever ministerial position including Defense Minister and Prime Minister (twice), led the Labour Party, served as Deputy Prime Minister in a Kadima-led government and was the country’s oldest ever President.

Shimon Peres doesn’t like being bored. Looking ahead to his 100th birthday, Mr. Peres might like to consider filling his days in one of the following ways:

1. Sell Israel’s nuclear secrets on
2. Star in Basic Instinct 5
3. Spend more time by Ariel Sharon’s bedside
4. Compete in the Labour Party leadership primaries
5. Trigger a political earthquake with the creation of a brand new party called Kadima Hachadasha (see logo: thanks BY)
6. Referee a five-a-side football match between teams managed by Gerry Adams and Ian Paisley
7. Release a cover of Shir LasShalom with Dana International
8. Appear in Lirkod im haKochavim (Strictly Come Dancing)

Any other ideas?

1 comment:

eliesheva said...

Nice. For all the crap he gets, he really has given the most to the country.

I'd like to see him take over Beitar when Gaydamak is his successor in the presidency (which he won by handing out cotton candy in Ashkelon, the next Sderot).