Antisemites of the World, Unite!

Antisemites - they're everywhere.

Politics: France's new President, Nicolas Sarkozy, won the Presidential Election by six percentage points. Where did he get most his votes? In the French Embassy in Tel Aviv, where he won a whopping 90% of the vote, a higher percentage than he won in his hometown. So naturally, you would expect him to hold his victory rally in Bloomfield Stadium Tel Aviv, but no, the antisemite opted for Paris. And if you still have your doubts - after all, he had a Jewish grandfather - he just appointed a Socialist Foreign Minister who blames Israel (a.k.a. the Jews) for everything.

Sport: West Ham United's great escape from relegation out of the English Premier Football League will go down in sporting history as one of the great stories of survival. When West Ham were ten points adrift at the foot of the table, they never could have imagined that they would be playing top flight football next season. The commentators have heaped praise on Argentine superstar, Carlos Tevez for turning West Ham's fortunes, netting a hatful of goals in the last few matches. But anyone who actually saw West Ham beat Manchester United in the last game of the season would know that the real hero was Israeli Yossi Benayoun who cleared the ball off West Ham's line twice. None of the commentators will admit it, but Tevez's contributions were secondary to Benayoun's heroics. That's because Yossi is a Jew and Carlos is not, and all football commentators are antisemites.

The Arts: Scandal of scandals. Worse than getting "nil points" at the Eurovision Song Contest, Israel didn't even qualify this year. The Israeli entry may not have included any monsters, nor were any of the band members previously of another sex. Their entry might have been about nuclear war, but that's clearly not the reason that they were unceremoniously dumped out of the competition. Yes, you guessed it – the judges were all antisemites.

It shouldn't come as a surprise to us that antisemites have infiltrated all aspects of public life. We've known for a long time that all of Europe are antisemites, and this week, the Americans proved that they too are antisemites when they turned down an invitation to celebrate a united and undivided Jerusalem. To paraphrase an old saying: It's not our fault we're paranoid when everyone is out to get us.